Is My Teenager Depressed? Recognizing the Symptoms of Depression in Teens

“I can’t tell if my teenager is just moody or if he is depressed. What’s the difference?”

In my private psychotherapy practice I get asked this question a lot by worried parents wondering about the dividing line between usual adolescent moodiness and clinical depression. It’s a good question.

Teenagers can be very moody. They can also sometimes be downright surly. The pendulum swing between the emotional polarities of happy to sad may fluctuate rapidly. It’s only when the pendulum gets “stuck “ on sadness, and your teen’s feelings of hopelessness and helplessness interfere with his ability to succeed in school, enjoy family and friends, engage in life, that your teen may need some help in getting his pendulum moving again.

During their teenage years adolescents experience a good deal of mental and physical growth. According to researchers, the developing teen brain makes as many new connections as a newborn infant’s. We all know how much physical change occurs during the teen years. This growth of brain and body can be physically exhausting for teens. In fact, the average teen requires more sleep than a newborn baby. Emotional and psychological maturation also occur. All this growth and change helps the adolescent develop their sense of self, an identity.

It can be difficult for parents to see their “sweet little child” suddenly turn into a person they no longer recognize. Well, guess what, your child may not recognize herself either. It’s no wonder that your teenager may sit in her room alone for hours feeling confused and scared by her changing self. Add to this mix outside stressors such as grades, college, changing peer relationships, and leaving home. For the majority of adolescents, this too shall pass. However, if your child is among the 11% of teens experiencing symptoms of depression here are some signs to look for.

Sadness is the number one sign of depression. Along with sadness, notice any changing behavior in your teen. I found this helpful video from BeSmartBeWell.com, a health and wellness website, in which Ken Duckworth, MD, Medical Director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness lists five symptoms to look for in your teen.

Have your child’s sleeping patterns changed; is your child no longer interested in interacting with friends; is your child using drugs or alcohol; does your child experience physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomachaches; is your child talking about harming himself?

Most importantly it’s crucial to keep in mind, as Dr. Duckworth points out in his video, depression in teens is real, and it is treatable.

Clinical Anxiety in Teens

In my private psychotherapy practice anxiety in teens is a common reason for seeking treatment. Some level of anxiety is a normal, albeit uncomfortable part of life. However, when your child’s level of anxiety and worry is excessive and begins to significantly impact their life-in school, at home, or with friends-it may be time to seek professional help to determine whether your teenager is struggling with clinical anxiety.

What are some signs of anxiety?

General Anxiety Disorder is defined as “excessive anxiety or worry for at least six months.” Well, what is considered “excessive?” You as a parent have to use your best judgment, because no one knows your child as well as you.

Some kids are able to tell parents when they are struggling. They may say things such as, “I feel out of control;” “I hate myself;” “I don’t know what’s wrong with me;” “Nobody likes me;” “I can’t do anything;” “I wish I was dead.”

Here’s a website run by teens (anxietyinteens.org) which includes their stories of anxiety told in their own words. Maybe you’ll recognize your own child in one of these stories.

Other teenagers use behaviors to communicate their feelings. What to look for? Some signs of excessive anxiety include complaints of stomachaches or headaches, school refusal, falling grades, increased social isolation, crying, irritability, eating disorders, cutting, and other self-harming behaviors, including substance abuse.

Also, it’s important to keep in mind that anxiety often occurs along with other disorders or issues a teen might face such as ADHD, a learning disorder, or depression.

What does my teen have to be anxious about?

Among adolescents 13-18 years old, it’s estimated that 8% have an anxiety disorder. That means that approximately two kids in each of your teen’s classes are dealing with anxiety.

According to the National Institutes of Health website, research indicates that during the teen years there is marked growth and change to the physical mechanisms of emotion. Brain development and changes in hormonal systems affect the way teens handle stress and react emotionally.

The NIH website includes this interesting fact:

“Brain scans of teens sizing each other up reveal an emotion circuit activating more in girls as they grow older, but not in boys. This finding highlights how emotion circuitry diverges in the male and female brain during a developmental stage in which girls are at increased risk for developing mood and anxiety disorders.”

In addition to the physical changes happening during the teen years, our kids live in a fast-paced world with 24/7 access to friends and information. Home no longer provides a sanctuary from the pressures of their lives. Who’s dating whom, to which parties were they not invited? Why wait for Monday morning to find out, when all this information is just a button click away? Add the pressure of grades, test scores and college acceptance, and life can feel much too stressful.

Anxiety can be a paralyzing impediment in your child’s life. It doesn’t have to be. Anxiety is a treatable disorder.

So…talk to your teen. How’s he doing?